Raising the Veepstakes


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By Joe Messina

Last night on Late Night, Seth Meyers unsurprisingly predicted the results of yesterday’s primary contests. Saying that Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton were likely to sweep all five states that voted yesterday and become their respective parties’ nominees, Meyers used his show’s Closer Look segment to talk about some of the two frontrunners’ possible running mates.

More specifically, Meyers talked about the media rush to speculate wildly about running mates before the dust has even settled.

“The media didn’t even wait a full week after Clinton and Trump’s wins in New York State last week to…start using one of their favorite turns of phrase,” Meyers said, cutting to a montage of news anchors playing up the VP selection, or, the nauseating “veepstakes,” as they call it.

Even Clinton brushed off a question about her potential VP picks with an exasperated laugh.

“Ahhh…fuck off,” Meyers sarcastically quoted Clinton. John Kasich, who has no chance of winning his party’s nomination except by chance at a contested convention, says he is in the process of choosing a VP, a process he should probably start by dropping out of the race and trying again next time.

Meyers went through some techniques candidates can use to pick a VP, including the “pick an opposite” technique. Famous examples include McCain/Palin, Obama/Biden, and “Vice President George W. Bush selecting President Dick Cheney.”

If Trump wanted to choose his opposite, Meyers said, he’d have to choose a Mexican who tears down walls with his giant hands or a homeless guy married to an older, ugly woman.

Candidates can choose a runner up as a running mate, but no one wants to see a Clinton/Sanders ticket, Meyers said, comparing them to an annoying old married couple already arguing as they board a plane.

“Not in my row, please, not in my row,” Meyers joked.

Watch the whole clip below.


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